Putting my husband on E-Bay

he farts in his sleep, his snoring can wake the dead, he is obsessed about buying tonnes of underwear for himself and he manages to irritate the bejezez outta me by walking at tortoise pace even when we are in a hurry - yet I cannot IMAGINE life with any one else. Yes he is the romantic of the two of us but as we complete 10 years of married life today I am going to attempt "being mushy" by writing about 10 reasons why i laab my husband so much. Now yes, most of these make me sound like a B@#$# but who know by the time I finish this blog I would have thought of 100 reason why I don't love him and want to put him up on e-bay :P

1)He is always the first to say sorry :- ok, so yes, I am going on record and this will be the first and last time you will hear me say this but no matter how big or small the fight he will always be the first to make up and he is not precious about saying sorry ( even when its not his fault !!!)

2)He treats my Parents right:- I think for this reason alone he could be the best husband in the world!! although I gotta say that I hate it when they love him back equally - Yep a biiit juvenile but i am jealous

3)He says "I love you" for no reason :- Every once in a while i forget that even though i love my husband, saying the actual words makes a whole world of difference and Biju manages to surprise me time and again with this beautiful habit of his

4)He never forgets to tell me the food was nice:- I am definitely not Nigella Lawson (neither looks nor culinary abilities;)) my cooking has come a VERY long way since the first year of our marriage- and while any other person might have given up long time ago Biju has never ONCE forgotten to express appreciation for the "effort and love" behind making of the dinner rather than the final outcome itself - the poor guy has eaten charred rotis and a$$-burning-spicy curries without a peep of complaint

5)He always seduces me into writing stuff for him:- I absolutely love that Biju think I am the ultimate authority when it comes to grammar/ spellings( yes yes snicker all you like, but what do i care when my hubby thinks i Da-bomb :P)

6)He will let me try anything :- be it tattooing my body; para gliding; or even wanting to shave my head he has never denied me anything ( yes someday i am going to gather enough courage to go rouge and pull a demi moore - no no not the strip tease you perves :P)

7)He is an awesome Dad :-  poop nappies of a solids eating kid smell lethal -no less than "weapon of mass destruction" and yet he does not shy away from diaper duty - Aaliyah has the best father not just cause he takes care of her / sings to her/ dances with her but cause He love her more than he love me and I love him sooo much for that

8)He love to dance :- I have yet to meet a Ka-ra-zy dancer (the good kinds) who will rock a party like he does.

9)He never forgets to tell me I look beautiful :- when God was giving every one "metabolism" I was probably away some where stuffing my face so its not a surprise that I am on the "generous-circumference" category and to add to that pregnancy didn't favor me well. Yet my darling will say with a straight face and absolutely believable tone how beautiful he thinks I am- even when i am wearing baggy gym pants (sniff....)

10) He thinks the sun shines outta my bottom:- I wish I has a better way of expressing this but its hard to not love a husband who seeks your opinion from buying shirt to investment, who feels guilty going out with his friends without me (even when i don't ;) who will always msg if he is going to be late; who will give me tea in bed on his day off and most of all who will even after 10 years of marriage call on a busy day at work to tell me that he laabs me.

Yeah I haven't included the obvious ones of how he is kind, funny or has nice buns (as if his ego needs any more stroking ;)). 

 

And as if there isn't enough cheesy-ness going on here I am going to go overboard and end with this ohh-so-romantic <gag> photo of us from a few centuries ago < cue teeth decaying romantic music>

 

Thanks for putting up with me till the end- would love to hear what your list looks like :D.

Awkward - who, me?!?

They were definitely having a breakup- I could spot that like I can spot a sale with my eyes closed. This was me at bustop waiting for my ride home- I had just let out a string of expletives (in my head) – for having missed the bus by just that much when I noticed these love-birds –nomore – getting into a public yet not so public break up.

Now, having been a participant in a fair few of these events called breakup (no points for guessing if I was the dumper or dumpee) I knew exactly what was happening. The guy had just dropped the ‘B’ word and from the looks of it the girl wasn’t taken it well - surprise surprise!! He was just ready to lean in with a consoling hand on her arm and I thought to myself.... DUUUUUEEEDDD noooooo... wrong move - if you want all you appendages intact I would recommend moving out of her punch / kick reach zone. Even before he could do his "I am sorry" pat on the arm she hisssed at him with clenched teeth and by gowd she was good.... I mean trust me as woman speaking in a dangerously low tone with clenched teeth is in my DNA but she was just something else.

This whole drama unfolding in front of me was so juicy the only thing missing for me was a BIG bowl of popcorn- my secret love for reality soap's doesn’t even come close to the thrill I was getting being Voyeur to this break-up. I only wished they were speaking a little louder - I was sure I was missing a few of the bad words- I don’t know if I thought that thought too hard or did I actually say it out loud but at that precise moment both of them turned to look at me - dead - in - the - eye!!! IF you have ever been caught with your hands in the cookie jar or down your pants you will know exactly how I must have felt!!! I was red with embarrassment - and for an Asian with dark skin turning red is quite a feat I tell ya. I wanted the earth to swallow me - some massive pre-historic bird to fly me away!! I mean Awkward does not even begin to describe the situation. I somehow managed a sheepish expression and got on to the bus (which incidentally was the wrong bus but at that point I didn’t care).

On the bus it got me thinking.... there are so many adjectives that can aptly describe me ... Smart, sexy, calm being NONE of them...but somehow Awkward seems to hit bulls eye. Just look at any of my high school / college photos.... besides being "heavy on the eyes" I think the first word that would come to mind would be awkward and I guess I have carried that characteristic into my adulthood quite faithfully. The number of awkward situations I get myself into is just mind boggling and dumb but still I am going to prove my point by sharing a few with you.

1) Greetings/ Hellos – I am so so horrible at these - I cannot tell you how many times I have answered “I am good thanks” to a hello!!!! And the worst is when I see someone in the street and wave at them and they don’t see me- So I end up looking like this total ass in public. This has happened too many times for it to be a coincidence that so many people fail to notice me waving like a lunatic. This is proof that people may be avoiding me … hummm

2) I dunno why it happens to me – but when I am guest at some ones place the toilets refuse to flush- especially after #2 !!! and if it flushes the moment I step out someone else wants to use the toilet – These are the times when I want to say to them – “If I were you – I wouldn’t go in there for at least the next day !!”

3) I have a feeling that in some previous birth I must have pissed off the technology God’s- cause they play these games with me – for eg – I will be showing someone how smoothly a gadget works and at that moment the f-ing thing with die on me!! And worst are the times when I have called someone over to tell them how something doesn’t work and while I am telling them this it works perfectly fine. Actually even more embarrassing was this one incident when we got a new TV and for some reason it wouldn’t work - just wouldn’t - I check all the blue / yellow green cables and finally had the tech come over to be told I had not plugged it in - Could I possibly have been more of a dork at that moment !!!! AND I HAVE WORKED FOR A TECHNOLOGY COMPANY FOR 3 YEARS - kill me already!!

4) I am 30 years old- not a kid anymore and yet every time a condom / sanitary napkin / intimate scene comes on TV while my parents are around I don’t know what to do where to look – all I want at that moment is to be anywhere but there.

5) At shops I have mistaken customers for shop assistant and asked them a full minute inquiries- some have been kind enough to let me know – some have just killed me with their looks and walked away

6) Doors – if I had a penny for every time that I have walked into a glass door..I would be on Forbes Richest dork list!!!! Or while reading the “pull” sign I am pushing with all might at the door… ughhhh

7) This happened to me just last week- new pair of shorts and top – checked myself out in the mirror, mildly excited about looking good … walked around the shopping mall feeling smug about myself and happy about the looks I was getting only to notice that I had not done up my fly !!!! ohhhh dear GOD what have I done to piss you off.

8) You know those moments when a friend is over at you place and you say yes to them using your computer only to realise you have NOT deleted your seach history – well what can I say – been there done that !!

9) This has happened to me only once ( thank god for that) but I can without doubt list it as my top most – I had worn a bikini for the First time in my life ( if you know me – the lord wasn’t very genrous to me with regards to beach worthy body) anyways. ALL of my friends are playing around in the surf and suddenly I realize I can feel the surf – way close to my “surf”.. I look down to notice MY BIKINI BOTTOM is MISSSING!!!!! ARRRGGGGGGHHHH…. That was the last time I went near a string bikini

10 - i am going to leave you with this image i saw on one of the site and it made me feel like - ALASSS - i am not alone ;)

:) Anu

Some reactions are involuntary - and no I am not talking about the breathing or Farting kind- but the kind that make you want to throw the remote at your husband when he stands right in front of the TV - of forgets to put the toilet seat down. ( yes there is a semi violent person suppressed somewhere in me) One such reaction I discovered recently -  when my very close friend from Perth paid me a surprise visit. There she was - unannounced at my door-10 pm on a Friday night- after I opened the door - all we did was hug and scream - OK it was more of squealing but I am going to take some writers liberty and make some age appropriate adjustments of calling it screaming !!!! With our jumping around squealing screaming we definitely managed to break Biju's ear drum and drowned any hopes of my lease being renewed!! 

SO... yes i know have been slack with my blog - you see I have been very busy Sleeping, lazing, doing nothing -  i mean working ( that's my story and I am sticking to it!!) Actually I have lot on my plate - you see I started a book club- population book club = 2 - don't snicker- its an invitation only club. ( we met a total of 3 times but I demand it be official book club!!) The success of the club was marred by the fact that we both were not on the same page - pun intended - below are the reading choices- I leave it up to you to decide which book I was reading ;)

If not book club - then weekends are hijacked by" loounndry"- I have no idea how two people can end up with such a mountain of it - i mean seriously !!

Actually this mountain of clothes reminds me of the following heap that greeted us at a friends place here in singapore - ofcource I don't have to say what the the photo screammms "BAchalor PAd!!!"

I also have finally joined a swimming class - i mean it has been on my to-do list for only...what ... 7 years ;). Now don't misunderstand; I WILL still drown - just that instead of a minute - it will take me 2-3 !! Here's a photo of me and the instructor - if you notice i am NOT in a swim suite cause i really liked the instructor and didn't want to scar him for life - or turn him off women.

Anywaayss - so if nothing else Singapore has made it mandatory for me to visit home every other month- any opportunity and I am on a flight. Recently my father organised a Family Get-together - i mean the BIG one - all under the  "Jadhav" family tree  were invited- It was crazy.... the good kind ( i mean there is not any other kind). So we all assembled at a resort and following are a few highlights of the what i discovered

1) I have 42 cousins !!!!! yes WT... 

2) there are freedom fighters- high up in my family tree and one of them was a teacher to Babasaheb Ambedkar 

3) One of my great grandparent ran away from home to marry outside our cast - so I can no longer tout that i was the pioneer of inter-religion marriage ( dammmn it!! - but none the less it proves that I was genetically programmed to do so !!)

4) Jadhav's are crazy - loud - in your face - talk over each other - talented bunch( again don't hate me - my characteristics were in my blood - I could not have turned out any other way !!- except for the talented part - I think that quality skipped my generation) 

Here are some very random photos from the event - the first one is of the current youngest Jadhav inaugurating the function with my father followed by some photos of my parents / my brother and sister - in law - true gem black and white photos of my great great grandparents and generation that followed( yes i know I laaab my family a lot).

I have to say though I cringed at EVERY photo of me from my teenage - WHAT was I thinking - I mean if you feel my "fashion sense " (or lack of it) is bad now - then you should have see those photos. And the worst of all - I am that annoying kid popping their head in EVERY photo - ugghhhhh I disgust me.

OK So I know I have bored you enough with my Family stuff so I am going to leave you with this one photo I took on a Taxi trip in Thailand. This is taking being "explicit" to a new level. Just incase you have lack of attention to detail - i am referring to the third sign from the left and if you notice it doesn't have a strike through it ;) i don't know what they are trying to encourage here !!!!

<hugs>

caught with Pants down and other Randomness..

OK, I am just going to come out and say it - I watched it - rather transfixed - without blinking. And this "watching" could have nicely gone on for a little while longer had I not heard Biju walk in on me, I quickly grabbed the remote to change the channel- and its such precise times that the bloody remote acts like a man - no matter what button you push - it does ... nothing !!!!!  Then I head the question i was dreading ... arrgghhh ..... " Kushi, what are you watching?" ...shame ...shamee... I would not have been so mortified had some one walked in on me watching porn - actually, I would have patted the seat next to me and asked them to come join me ... BUT you see I wasn't watching porn....I was watching the Kardashian reality show( again .. Don't you judge me !!!!) 

Actually this walking in seems to happen to me a lot lately.... take for instance ... us friends were sitting chatting at some random garden on a weekend night. Some how the discussion turned to calories - now a point to note here is that I hang out with 4 guyz and I wasn't one who broached the topic ;) ( times have changed my friends - discussions on calories is no longer proprietary to women) as the discussions progressed ... i dunno why.. may be it was the company .. may be it was the bloody camaraderie but I raised my hand in a boy scout style( yeah i am prone to such "random" actions) and said " I Anu give up tea from this day onwards...... " even as i was finishing this declaration - i had a feeling of "ohhhh what i have done...." If you know me - you know how much i looobe my caffine - you know that T-shirt quote "give me my caffeine and no one gets hurt.... well that was penned because of me ( OK.. OK.. not me but you get the point) 

Anyways so this declaration was so public that I haaad to stick to it!!!! The first day without tea ... was ... DISASTER!!! All I could think of was that rush-  ... ohh and by the second day - I could have forked some one in the eye for a sip of tea...... Anyways I some how made it to the 1 week mark without killing someone. It so happened that we all were to do our Friday night ritual of eating out at a local Indian place and somehow I ended the only one there - this was my opportunity !!! My evil side - told me just go for it .......order that tea ....... you have been good - you deserve it and my good side ( yes do i have one) told me - NOOOOOOO with one hand on hip and the other waving a finger at me - anyways to cut a long story short (  yep that's my short version of the story...) I ordered that tea and surprise surprise .. they decided to walk in on me ... all I could think was effing eff .. eff!!! As they say - caught with my pants down - actually - that's ANOTHER story ;)

Anyways ... so there was a reason why i wanted to write this particular blog  today - mostly my blog is for my cyber world - word diarrhea - or just document how I manage to making a fool of myself - in short just random nick knacks of my RANDOM life. But today I want to show you something ( no peeps - not thaaaat - as I said to some one the other day - you have to be VERY very VERY luck to see that ;). Its been on my mind for a while and its something that will take me one step closer to becoming a rock star  or a prison inmate - it closes off a few employment opportunities for me and comes with its own set of judgements and opinions..... but none the less I did it. I got myself a tattoo.... and if one more person asks me - does it hurt?!!?  ...arrghhhh  i will ... i will ... i dunno actually what i will do. So below is the before and after for your viewing pleasure. And what does the characters mean you ask...... it means " inner strength". Guess I am going to need that strength - inner and outer when I visit India next month cause guyz the things is that I haven't told my parents or my in laws about it ...... so if you hear some major yelling and fireworks from my place - all the way to your part of the world - you will know why ..;)

I am going to leave you with this quote from Don Ed Hardy

"A tattoo is an affirmation: that this body is yours to have and to enjoy while you're here. Nobody else can control what you do with it"

I chomped down on my cornflakes with a purpose ... the crunch was echoing through the office and some wayward glance came my way but today I was in a D.K.D.C mode- what is that you ask – it’s Don’t Know Don’t Care!! I had a very big decision on my hands – and if you have seen how huge my hands (along with the rest of my body) is you can understand this was the mother of all decisions. To FB friend or not to FB friend !!! ok no you don’t get the gravity of it – this was not your garden variety FB request – This was a request from an EX!!!! Taaaeeuuutaaaeeeu(this is how it would sound if my heart could sing). Do you also sometimes feel like there is background music playing for all of your actions? No, you say – well then I am the only crazy one here. In my head – actions have a sound associated with it. Like when I miss the bus by that half a second – I can hear a ppaaapawwww- wrong answers always have “eaaaahhhhhh” ( game show buzzer sound) or when I crack a super joke I hear a “baadammbushhhh” ( you would be thinking given my sense of humor – this would be happening very rarely, right ? eaaahhhhhhhh – so wrong – I find my own jokes hilarious !!!! (please don’t judge me :( )

Anyways- I digress, so a few months ago on a perfectly fine day this …. This.. “thing” happened. My daily routine – as I am getting out of bed- even before my eyes are open, my hand has found the iphone by the bed- The first thing I do is my scrabble app – I forget so many things lately that it worries me some day I am going to forget where I live or that I am married ( which may be Biju’s lucky and only ticket out) – someone suggested scrabble / crossword to keep the brain “active” – so it’s been my first and religious action for some time now. As I pretended to dominate the online alphabet world – I then move to the one and trusty Facebook- there was a nice and welcoming “1” displayed next to My friends request- doesn’t that always make you smile – that number next to the friend request? – don’t lie – your heart does a little jiggy and you say to your self - ohh yeayy-  Noooo you say again? ;).

Anyways so seeing that request I let my figure poke the iPhone screen to reveal the details and lo behold – His name displayed on the screen - XYZ wants to be friends with you. My first thought was WHY … I mean why would anyone want to be friends with their Ex?!? For a minute leave aside the point that I ‘have’ stalked a few of my ex on Facebook ( serves them right for not updating their security settings) and danced my happy dance seeing their  increasing waistline and receding hairline ( ohh don’t look at me with those judgmental eyes- I know you’ve done that too!!) but I wouldn’t want to send them a friend request. That’s just so many degrees of awkward and wrong. I am sure there are some unwritten rules about such things …right? Like the toilet cubicle rule- unless there is none other available you DO NOT use adjacent cubicle to an occupied one?!? Don’t look at me like I am crazy.

Even by the end of my breakfast I was nowhere near making a decision… I could very well do the grown up thing and completely ignore it (Which I actually did do for almost a week) – I mean it works for everything else why not this!!! Hhuum somehow it didn’t sit right- I had to tackle this one head on. I finally decided to draw up some Pro’s and con’s and see where that took me- I will not bore you with that table but what I will give you a peek at the few sane/pg rated points of why I am Mad to even think of Accepting it and and ever bigger Dork for not accepting it :-

1)    He knows I used to wear White acid washed jeans – which I still may or may not have in my wardrobe ;)

2)   Do I really want to be reminded of my mistakes – to borrow words from someone else – when I think of it I wonder- was I drunk through the whole relationship!!

3)   But then we “were” good friends before it all soured – I mean the good times were good ;) 

4)   My first bike ride or rather – non platonic bike ride was with him – ohh my!!! Words cannot describe the thrill of sitting on a hot as bike with a cool as guy when you are in your teens and having a clandestine affair – yes I know the adrenaline rush!!

5)   Without accepting the request – I couldn’t not troll through his photos to poke fun and feel – ummmhumm ;) and just as I say this- I can see you all go into your settings and block me – baadaambushhh!!! Don’t worry – I don’t blame you- I would have done the same.

6) Somethings are better left in the past?...or are they?

What would you have done?

- yours questionably !!! :X

PS:- here is a Random photo of a bike - taken in Oz- happy figure-ing ( yes i just made that up - D.K.D.C :P )

India Blues?!!?!!

These yearly trips to India can be best describes as like hooking up with an ex- a very very steamy ex - It’s such a torrid love affair na – hot and sweaty- when you hook up again after a break -you cannot seem to get enough of each other at first, you re-discover things you did together that gave you toe curling pleasures – the places, the quirks. And then you feel spent -  you start noticing the burnout and remember why the long distance relationship did not work in the first place– sighhh. It’s been 4 days since I came back from India and - I am partly depressed. Just like getting over a hot ex – I am finding getting over this trip a little hard – such random incidents and thoughts keep swirling in my head - ok, let me share a few, only cause you insist ;)

Ok- I know this one is weird but its on top of mind – cause it happened when we were out shopping and well shopping and I are … let’s just say – we laab each other - we have "best buds" tattoos and keep photos of each other in our wallet ;)

Her billboard took up most of wall outside the mall. A petite model ( read  as size Zero) looking over her shoulder at the mirror in her bedroom- from here it gets a bit confusing- she is dressed in frilly pink undies  and a tank top. Try as I might – I couldn’t figure out what was being advertised, then I looked at the print “reebok Shoes" and I thought “yeah right – her shoes is EXACTLY what I thought  < insert sarcastic rolling eyes here> ; Actually it reminded me of another print I saw here in Singapore – a “perky” model lay on the beach in an excuse of a bikini. Her pose – well.. to keep it PG rated let us just say that she was “stretched” in the sand with her back arched and one hand over her head. She had a beach hat and a beach basket next to her. I hazarded a guess – beach wear / accessories – Welll – “eeaaahhh”( that’s my take on how a game show buzzer would sound in print)  wrong answer !!! The ad was for an Esprit watch- wait – where is wally..sorry I mean where is the watch? – ohhhh right there it is – it’s in the other hand resting on her…. Well its PG rated so let’s leave it to your imagination.

If you are in India and you don’t think about food then – Something is wrong with you!!! With rainy season - people falling sick around me like flies and D-day or rather the W-day just round the corner I could not afford to eat out and join the queue at the doctors or the toilet. But the ever alluring Pani puri – kept rearing its head – every street corner had a Pani puri wala beckoning me – ummmmm H-A-VE –TO- RESISST..(droolll) Well finally my sister in law- Monal came to my rescue- She is gujrathi and making awesome pani puri is in her DNA. Even if she wanted to she cannot make a bad pani puri. The plate you see below – well.... this was just a warm up round – I may or may not have reached the half century mark – if you don’t have proof I deny any knowledge ;)

Coming back to shopping – cause yes baby I cannot stay away ;)- We shopped – and then we shopped and cause there were still hours left in the day we shopped some more!! On one of our saree shopping trip – Biju and my brother Rohan tagged along cause they wanted to be included in the action – Normally what would have taken us a couple of hours took us 5 !!! by the end of it I am sure every person in the shop knew us, about the wedding and even what our blood group was – no I am NOT kidding !! As luck may have it we all got stuck in the shop lift on our way out – while my mother hyperventilated – the rest of us were giggling; until the guy from outside said  “wazan jyada ho gaya hoga “ ( must have exceeded weight limit) – and it may not surprise you that at this precise moment every one was looking at me with accusing eyes( damnit!!). Below is a photo of my mom trying out sarees followed my the Oommen boys waiting for their suit trial – and if you have seen the wedding photos – you will know that they looked hoowt!

Ok, so saree shopping has to be followed by a blouse stitching- so as customer of this century I took along some styles that I had shameless snapped from other shops. I showed my tailor the following photo – he looked at me – spit his paan to one side, looked me in the eye and told me – "you cannot pull it off" – and again I do not kid!!

If tradition is to be believed – we both should hate each other or at least mildly dislike each other. My mother in law on the other hand is pure mush- we get along well and in the decade long relation we have never even had an argument and I find that troubling sometimes - you see when a lot of my friends gossip about their respective mother in laws – I am the dork without anything to contribute. Its been some time since they have revoked my membership to the MIL gossip club. Anyways – she was my one ardent iphone photo buddy – even as we went to friends / relative house to give invitation we would sneek some photos ;) – below is one of them

On this trip we took possession of our first EVER unit- sorry if I cannot keep the pride and joy out of my words. Before we saw our new house, Biju and I visited the first place we lived together as couple. It was a small studio on the top floor - we rented it with the last of our saving. It only had enough space for  1 single bed, 1 small cupboard. Only 1 person could stand in the kitchen at one time- water was available only 2 hours a day- if we forgot to fill the water tank during that time – we had to go over and ask a neighbor for half a bucket –we lived there for the first year of our marriage- it was DE BEST place ever!!! Below are photos of the kitchen window and the building – don’t judge a book by its cover ;)

Following that is the nameplate outside our new place in Pune – sighhh – life has come a long way :D

 

This trip also had a lot of traveling between Bombay - Pune - the scenery on the way is just mind blowing - we sometime so easily forget what a beautiful country we live in. This was the time that Biju and I used to catch up with each other or when Biju "dozed" off ( as you see from the following photo) I used to chat with my mates online - 3G - you have been a trusty friend.

And this last photo I am posting just in case tomorrow I become famous and some one needs to bring me down a notch- they can use this ;). Or if they can use - at not cost - if they need to scare the crap otta some one :D

Your homesickly :)

smacks and cuddles

Its funny how certain places/ sounds/ smells can trigger repressed memories- some of my childhood yaddein are so fuzzy that I am not sure if they really happened or did I just make them up all in my head( yes it’s a very well loved and practiced trait of mine – and no, I do not have imaginary friends – unfortunately even they don’t seem to like me much). 

Anyway so coming back to triggers – on my recent trip to Pune – I heard the smack –smack of someone dusting a carpet in their courtyard and that sound made me reach for my bum ( wait- wait – hold on to your fertile imagination) That smacking sound reminded me of the time when my mom smacked the bejezzes outta me right on the road till we reached home cause I went somewhere without telling her- yep – it was free for all- to watch drama being played out in my colony and till this date my brother and I do not dare to walk outta the house without telling my mom.

I am sure it doesn’t come as a surprise to you that I was a …emmm… handful child- so this wasn’t the first and last time that I got wacked on the road. The second showing happened due to my misplaced sense of fairness – A close friend of mine was invited to a function and I wasn’t- obviously this did not sit right with my kid sense of justice and equality  – so I took it unto myself to rectify the situation and invited myself to the programme and of course I did not stop there – I went and had a feast – mingled with the guest ( at age 9-10 my social skills/ etiquettes  were at their best – over the years obviously they have diminished to nothing). As the news of my “extracurricular” activities reached my mom- OHHH MYY GOWWDD- she was furious beyond ….. Actually I don’t even have words to describe the fury. Ohh ohh the hiding I received that day – phataakkkk phatttaakkk - even the memory makes it painful to sit down.

Fortunately or unfortunately these memories are followed by some happy memories of countless hugs and cuddles with a few dollops of piss-ur-pants laughter. I guess the ration of whacks to cuddles was quite ok - so there goes my chance of using my childhood as a a reason for my quirks ( dammmit).

My most distinct happy memories are from the time that my mom used to read stories to us. After my brother and I came home from school in the afternoon, had our lunch we used to all cuddle up in bed with the daily paper. My mom in the middle and us two on either side – she always had to look up straight and was never allowed to face either side as that would mean uneven show of love ( yep – that sense of fairness again). She used to read us Chintu ( equivalent of Garfield) and stories –we used to then discuss moral of the articles- make fun of each other and mostly talk over each other to make our point ( yep that habbit I definetly have carried into adulthood). That peaceful sleep that you get cuddled up to your mom – ohhh- sniff sniff. But moms are like that right – titanium coating and insides of pure marshmellow . To actually note the numerous acts of love and care here is obviously impossible but a few that just make my day even today:-

The endless chatter over a cup of chai – (yep that’s where the chai love affair started)

That special sabji in lunch box for Saturday – just because she knew how much I hated getting up early on a Saturday half day school

Hiding behind her pallu and coming into the house when baba made me stand outside the house for coming home later than my curfew

Being fed garam garam rice and dal by mom’s hands cause you had a crap day at school

Bandaids never healed the scrapes and bruises – it was always her kisses and hugs.

No need to say it – I already know know how much of a duhhhh I am and proud of it too ;) – anyway here is a recent photo of the two oommens with amma :)- i tried to straighten the photo but my technical handicap wouldn't allow it - so either twist your head or you laptop ;)