arrrrghhh!!!!!... gruuuunt!!!!!.... ohhhoooo!!!ahhhh....ahhhhhhh!! yes that is exactly how it sounded, with the exclamation marks and all. It could very well have been an audio track of a porn flick.. and I would have have left it at that if only I was not at the gym and could hear it over the "dhooof dhooof" of my headphone music. I HAD to turn around ... which would have been easier if I wasnt on the treadmill huffing my insides out. looking back while propelling myself forward is so not a cool look on me.. but thats besides the point right now. So as I manage to sneek a not so subtle look - there he was, this 6 foot something fella --- close to midlife crises age- with barbell twice his size trying to get it off the ground.  The covert looks from the rest of us mere mortals seemed to fuel his volume. 

WHY??... i mean WHYY ... its just beyond me, no no I am not talking about his moaning - the WHY is for his gym shorts. There are shorts and then there are shorts... these fell into the category of "for females - half my size" shorts.  NO!! NO!!!! NO!!!... guyz once and for all ... not matter which fashion guru tells you otherwise short shorts for guys in the gym is a NO... just incase you missed it.. NOO...OOO...OH! And if you are under the miss conception of "makes my butt look cute" then let me dispel that too .. unless you are Hugh Jackman / Hrithik Roshan or Bradley cooper  No it doesnt make your behind look cute. 

I dunno if its the Singapore heat or the lack of fiber in my diet but a I just cannot understand a few things:- 

- Is it just me or majority of the people at the gym look like they Do NOT need the excercise- they are the perfect specimens walking out from a magzine shoot....... Making the slightly "bigger" buggers like me feel even more insecure.

- Mirror hogging Narcissist  ... yess you know who you are!!! stop kissing ur guns in front of me... They take "love thy self" to a whole new level

- decked up!! - how is it that these people coming to the gym look like they are going out on a date... immaculate clothes - not a hair out of place and full make up ... and thats not just the ladies.... my criteria for good gym clothes... "should have atleast 1 hole and washed so many times that you cannot make out the print "

- the silent racers... these are the people who translate using adjacent treadmills as WAARR..... they will match you beep for beep and walk away with a smirk ... I dunno why I am always a magnet for such wierdos!!! The other day a lady got on the machine next to me and said " Wanna race..."  wait, thats not the best part ... my response " its my 30th b'day tommrow"......wahhhh? wait a minute ... she asks me to race and..... I tell her my b'date - of all the things in the world i could have said !!!! 

Sighhh... i have ranted for way too long but I will leave you with this quote I read some where : 

"I don't care about being big and strong, I just want to look good naked ;)"

(Dir)thi-rty

So looks like people cannot make up their mind about it - From the worst thing evahhh to happen to the bestest the opinion is so divided one might think i was talking about brussel sprouts !!!! Well in less than few days I will be embracing the big 3 ohh and supposedly I should be either be getting ready to PARTaaYYY or ready for anti depressants.

I did the mistake of actually asking some I know about how they liked turning thirty.... well I had forgotten that the person has been in denial for the past 4 years of the fact and the response was..."thirty...what thirty!!" so I turned to trusty google. I did a troll of the web and search for turning 30 brought up

=>What to expect when you are 30 weeks PREGNANT!!! - that one I  soooo left alone, I will have a rant about it sometime later

=> Why are 30's end of your life :- no i am not kidding!!!!! this one left me feeling SO SO ancient and pre-historic, those anti depressants would have come handy! one of them actually had a help section on how to "COPE" with turning 30! WTF - Is this an illness/ handicap or some rash that i need to cope with !!

=>Why are 30's  DE BEST :- these ones were so sugary and used so many "positive" words one might have mistook it for a used car sales man pitch.

=>The in between:- these were probably people like me who were forced into thinking about it as a " event" when it should be like any other B'day filled with gifts from husband that you have been "hinting" not so subtly- way too much cake and even more food :).

After some deep thinking ( yes; supposedly now these episodes will increase with the turn of the decade) I concluded that I will have to "cross the bridge" when i come to it - probably in a wheel chair ;) if some of these blogs are to be believed. But having read up so much - 10 things  that I am supposed to expect to happen :-

1) I can now be allowed to say "in my times......
2) At a pub, I don't have to be afraid to say " the music is too loud......
3) Effect of gravity :- my body will have to give in to pull of mother natures gravity. I am ready for the turtle neck, crows feet and my boobs sliding down to my navel ( yes ...I went there)- As long as they don't reach my knees - I think i will count myself lucky.
4)Tick a new age group box
5) People will take me seriously now that i am thirty - (dunno about that one)
6) I can give in to those mid afternoon urge to nap
7) read all the self help books and nod along in agreement
8) Expect to give advise - even when not asked for!!! ( ahem ahem ..... i do that even now)
9) suffer "the look" for being thirty and childless - <gasp... gasp....tck tchk>
10) farting / burping in public will be "reasonable" given my "age"


Few things I do know for sure -  D day eve I will not be sulking nor will be going crazy. My twenties and I will be having a "down -memory - lane"- probably with a glass of wine ( yes, wine is supposed to emerge my best friend on the turn to the thirties). We will look at the 'EVENTFUL" decade that was - meeting my future husband, marrying him - TWICE ( no more jokes please - have heard them all), the travels, the friends - the dramas the laughs - the tears and everything in between. We will hug our good byes while thirty tugs at my dress beckoning me to start of a new decade .... I am sure its going to be even more exciting ......... herez to hoping!!