I sometimes have this strong urge to send God a “We need to talk…” email. (Yes, I know I am weird – get over it). I mean yes, He is “O”wesome – you read it right, I spelt it with an O- but there are few things he definitely has to bring out in the clear.

Just about now Biju is wringing his hands at my blasphemy and few of my gay friends have begun a long email on how God is a She not a He (yes, I know I am going straight to hell!) Anyways so coming back to the point don’t you ever wish you could sit down with the Almighty and ask him not “busy day ehh...” but “how come…. “( yes I love my how comes!!)

Let me explain, it happened a few weeks ago at the mall – she walked towards me wafting some expensive perfume. Her size 6 waist swayed in her snug micro short- shorts and her tank top showed off a perfectly flat midriff. While Biju pretended to not notice her while opening ogling (cannot blame the fellow – poor thing has to hang out with me all day!!) I couldn’t help the stab of jealously striking straight through my heart. And then I noticed it – right in front of me – she was eating a bucket full of chips drizzled with what looked like mayo. WAIT- justtAA- Darn- Minute!! She has THAT abs with Those chips and I get a muffin top for my lettuce diet!!! and that’s when I thought that’s it; God we need to talk….. amongst other things

… about how I haven’t won the lotto yet.

…. about how you can let people like Himesh Reshmiya / justine bieber call themselves singer- where is my bollywood call!!

…. about how you let me walk out of the house thinking “daaayyamm – this new dress is howwtt on me” (no- modesty isn’t my colour) while you very well know the price tag is hanging out at the back!!

…… about how after a full month of grueling regimen at the gym I lose 300 grams!!! and 5 days for Biju yields 2 kg loss – uncool God, very uncool

….. about how you are so unfair with your distribution of qualities – some get killer looks, brains and freaking metabolism and I get..... chubby !!

I have this sneaky suspicion that the re-runs of my misfortune are running in a loop on a TV in some waiting lounge in heaven …. Do u feel so too?

PS: God I love you – Peace ;) _\/_